And my family has always called me Eeyore...

While others called me Christopher Robin. I think my childhood intertwined with these stories a little too much. Good to see my 7 Lettered Diagnosis made the show.

Click to see Psychiatric Disorders Depicted by Winnie the Pooh.

"just studying for a test officer"

So if you ever have the occasion to be on stake-out just as the sun rises and it becomes clear that your beat up old Honda Prelude does not really belong in a gated community, you had better have an excuse when the police car pulls up beside you.


Luckily for me, I am pretty quick on my feet…even when sitting in my car watching for a suspected fraudulent “Workman’s Comp” subject to leave his house.  I had been there for two hours.  I had little sleep, an empty belly save a pack of Pecan Swirls and an emptied cup of coffee that was beginning to tickle my bladder.  My best friend, and the owner of this private investigation firm, was not due to relieve me for another hour.  Unfortunately, I had made the mistake of being rather antsy in re-positioning my car one time too many.  Have I ever told you about my 7 Lettered Diagnosis?

I did not even see the officer’s car until it was pulling right up beside me.  We exchanged pleasantries and when he asked what I was doing parked here I had already managed to slyly reach for my Spanish text book.  On cue, I was able to lift it up as I explained I was just waiting on my friend to get off of work and meet me to look at this neighborhood as he was looking to buy a new condo.  I followed up with a wave of my textbook and saying that I was studying my Spanish Preterites.  I was very proud in that moment considering how especially poor I was doing in Spanish at the time.  I am rather lucky he did not want to know what a Preterite was because I would have been dead to rights.  All around pride for me!

This was very quick thinking because indeed there was still much construction going on in this community and that is why the gate was left open for me to drive in.  Perfectly plausible.  My partner really was getting off work to take over the case so I wasn’t really lying to the officer.  Apparently that is something that is frowned upon.  At any rate, one of the first rules as an investigator is to NOT let anyone know that you are on a case if you can help it or else your cover is blown.  No matter if it is the police or not.  I am fortunate that he simply asked me to wait at the corner gas station and did not press for more information.  Otherwise, I would have had to come clean and then I would have missed my return trip for this case where I got to wear a hidden camera on my jacket. Fun!

It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy

It is rather mind boggling when you are told by a therapist, (we will call him Therapist 6), that he has determined you to be both OCD and ADHD. Combined. Like that works. Apparently, it does. This means that I am easily distracted but when I do find myself focused on something usually meaningless, I can hone in on it like dog on his favorite leg.

After years of living with this knowledge, I believe I am no more in control of it than when I found out.  How often does one need to repeat himself in conversation just to make sure that he framed his point in exactly the right way...even after he did a fairly decent presentation the  first time?  Typically, I find that the number of  repeated conversations also seem to coincide with the ounces of alcohol consumed beforehand.  But, no matter, it is just one little example of my apparent OCD.  It is not on par with Nicholson in "As Good As It Gets", but it is rather annoying just the same. 

As for Adult ADHD, well now that is as commonplace these days as owning an iPod.  Therefore, I feel rather accepted and natural with this bit of diagnosis.  Besides, I find that I am so easily distracted these days that...that...well, that I have restarted this post three times between watching LOST on Hulu and checking on my crops in Farmville!

So, as I chronicle my ridonkulous exploits, just remember the seven letters that create most of my behavioral patterns. O-C-D...A-D... ehh the rest of it

Enjoy my theme song for life from Lit 
I am my own worst enemy